| What really is happiness?? is it laughing? smiling? joyful? no stress? because at this stage in my life, i can't say im content with where im at. I'm not genuinely happy. i want to know where i can find this state of being. I've tried looking in so many different things. You name it, I've tried it. But more and more places i look for this happiness, farther and farther it seems to take me away. Everyone that knows me knows that im big on friendships. And i can say that when im with my true friends, im genuinely happy. And what is a true friend? someone that you can confide in, someone that can make you laugh, someone that will be there for you...always...if youre joyful, they are happy with you, if youre sad, they are sad with you, if you are not doing so well, they are there for you. Ive met some people over the years, that i thought were like that. I thought that when im happy, they will be there to celebrate with me, when im down, they'll be there to cheer me up, when im in trouble, they'll always find time to help me, or at least just talk to me and see whats going on. And that is where they failed. I thought they were my friends because during the joyful times, they were joyous with me.and i expected them to be there for me when i struggle...but when all the other negative things came up, they just go off and live like they dont even know Mike Lee. And now, they are the reason why im not happy. I cant consider those people to be anything but negative influence in my life. But through that, theyve done one good deed for me. They helped me realize how grateful i should be for my TRUE FRIENDS. all my naperville people, everyone here at iowa thats been there with me through thick and thin, people that moved away and still ask me how im doing, and when they know im down, they still take the time to call me, IM me, email me and ask me whats wrong, and are willing to still talk to me even when im not in the best of moods. you guys are my source of happiness. i thank you all.
to the boys that came and visited last weekend: i know that things got shaky on saturday night. and im sorry for that. but when i was walking home, and you guys stopped and dan in walked with me, At the time, because of my hot head, i didnt realize, but thats an act of a true friend. I know that all you guys were tired, all you guys were ready to just go to bed, but you guys took the time to look after me. and there is no doubt in my mind that you guys are my true friends. so dont ever doubt because of that incident, that our friendship was damaged. because it wasnt at all. im sorry for what i did. and i truly love every single one of you guys. |
. But aside from the humor, my week here is going to absolutely SUCK!! Let me list out what i gotta do for the next 2 weeks. I have a hw due tuesday, a hw due wednesday, hw due friday (and to all you folks saying "homework aint shit"....u try doing MY hw and tell me that), 2 exams on thursday (which are back to back starting 5 PM to like 9:30 PM...when am i gonna eat dinner?? i hate sitting in a classroom and have my stomach growl), 2 more exams the following week, a lab report due, and then add like 3 more hw assignments that week. wow.........now that i list out all i gotta do in these two weeks, i realize more than ever that my life is jus blahhhh~ No wonder everyone drops outta engineering. and this is just 2 weeks out of this whole school year. I know exactly how most suicides happen in college...they do their studies, come home....think about what they gotta do...decide to have some relaxing time, go on xanga, bitch about how much work they gotta do...and then realize exactly how much they have to do....and then its over. For all you folks that read that last sentence and is thinking ".....is mike gonna kill himself??"...the answer is "no idiots." but anyways, im tired, im rambling, im bitchin'.....so i think its time for me to hit the haysack. good nite ya'll. 
